Rooster: Cock-a-doodle... whatever. [fade to Timmy's room. The alarm clock reaches 7:00 and beeps. Cosmo and Wanda yawn]
Timmy: [turns off the alarm] Here we go. Another boring day. [fade to the kitchen]
Mr. Turner: [reading a newspaper] Sports. Same. News. Same. Weather. Hey!
Timmy: [excitedly] What?
Mr. Turner: Same. [Timmy is disappointed. Fade to a bored Timmy, Chester, and AJ sitting in a classroom. A ball of paper is thrown at Timmy, to no reaction. Fade to the kids at a cafeteria table. A ham is thrown at Timmy. Fade to the kids in a science lab. A dead frog is thrown at Timmy. Fade to the kids outside Dimmsdale Elementary]
Timmy, Chester, and AJ: [leaving] See ya. [fade to black. Fade to Timmy and the fairies watching TV in the Turners' living room]
Timmy: Man. This TV show sure is boring. [Cosmo and Wanda look offscreen and turn into a bag of popcorn and a drink]
Mr. Turner: [putting a videotape in the VCR on the TV]The Boring Dog That Could Shoot Boring Hoop.
Announcer: [on the TV] Detective Ryan McCain is a loose-cannon cop who doesn't play by the rules in... Loose Cannon Cop Who Doesn't Play by the Rules![Timmy is smiling with his tongue out]
Mr. Turner: [shouts] Egad! In my advanced state of lethargy, I must have grabbed something interesting by mistake!
Timmy: Come on, guys! Can we watch it? Please? Please? Please? [his parents look at each other, as do the fairies. Fade to Timmy lying in front of the TV]
Wanda: Wow. This movie is violent and stupid!
Cosmo: I know! I'd've settled for just one! [Timmy takes popcorn out of him, making him scream] My brains! Babble and drool! [fade to Timmy's room]
Timmy: [plays around and imitates sounds of violence] Timmy Turner is a loose-cannon cop on the edge who doesn't play by the rules! [dives behind a basketball and runs to his bed] Boom! [jumps onto the bed] Ha! Ha! Action movies are awesome!
Wanda: I know, but it was just a movie!
Timmy: So what? In that movie, life was exciting! Action everywhere you look! I want a life like that!
Wanda: But, Timmy... that would be dangerous!
Timmy: Not to me! I'd be the hero, and nothing bad ever happens to the hero! I wish my life was exactly like an action movie! Action... [yawns] movie... [falls asleep. Cosmo and Wanda look at each other worriedly and grant the wish. Fade to morning]
Rooster: Cock-a-doodle... [explodes. The alarm clock reaches 7:00 and starts beeping. It is now a time bomb]
Cosmo: [offscreen] Good morning, Mr. Turner! We scheduled you for a death call at 7:00 sharp! [Timmy escapes as the clock explodes, and falls through a trap door. Spiked walls and cobras approach him, and he jumps up the spikes before they can crush him. He runs up a wall to escape from a giant boulder]
Timmy: Cool! I mean... "That was close!" [he dives away as Cosmo and Wanda appear in an explosion and lands in a pool] What's goin' on? [jumps away before the shark in the pool can bite him]
Wanda: What you wished for! [she and Cosmo magically move everyone to a spy headquarters]
Cosmo: Your life is now an action movie!
Timmy: Awesome! [grabs a mace and swings it around]
Wanda: Hold on, big guy! You can't go out and beat baddies in your PJs! [she and Cosmo dress him like Ryan McCain]
Timmy: Booyah! Awesome! I've got five o'clock shadow!
Cosmo: And it's only 7 a.m.!
Wanda: That reminds me... Here, Timmy! You might need this! [makes a watch appear around his wrist]
Timmy: A watch?
Wanda: It's more than just a watch... It's a multipurpose wrist communicator so you can stay in touch with us! [the watch's screen flashes "breakfast"]
Timmy: Whoa! I'm late for breakfast! [dives into an "emergency breakfast vent". Cut to the kitchen, which now doubles as a laboratory]
Mr. Turner: [reading a newspaper] Sports. Actiony! News. Actiony! Weather! Hey! [Mrs. Turner flips up to him]
Timmy and Mrs. Turner: What?
Mr. Turner: A 100 percent chance... of action! [he crumples up the newspaper and tosses it away, and It explodes. He passes a tape recorder to Timmy, who picks it up]
Mr. Turner on Tape: Pass the butter. This tape will now self-destruct. [Timmy throws the tape recorder into the air and it explodes]
Timmy: [slices butter with a knife] It's butterin' time! [uses the knife to launch butter onto toast that Mr. Turner then eats. The watch flashes "time 4 school"] Oh no! I'm late for school! [presses a button on his belt that makes a jet pack appear. He flies out of the house with the jet pack] Explosions, villains, and jet packs outta nowhere! I should have wished for my life to be like this years ago! [flies into the school gymnasium] It's quiet in here... Too quiet! [ninjas surround him. One goes to attack him with a bo staff, which he grabs and uses to knock down the ninja and two others. Another ninja breaks the staff in two, and Timmy knocks him down with the pieces and throws them at two other ninjas. He continues fighting and shouting offscreen]
Cosmo: Timmy's really whuppin' tushy!
Wanda: Yeah... but I got a bad feeling about this. Things always go from bad to worse in action movies.
Cosmo: Really? Like how?
Jorgen: [offscreen] Like this! [laughs as he makes Cosmo and Wanda disappear. Angle on Timmy standing on a heap of defeated ninjas]
Timmy: Cool! I wish I had more ninjas to fight! [beat] Cosmo! Wanda! Where are you?
Wanda: [via the watch] Timmy! Timmy, come in!
Cosmo: [via the watch] Are you calling Timmy? Tell him Cosmo says hi!
Wanda: Shush! Timmy, you have to save us!
Cosmo: Come on! Come on! Tell him I said hi!
Wanda: We've been fairy-napped! We don't know where we are!
Cosmo: Timmy? Is that you? Hi, Timmy!
Wanda: There isn't much time!
Timmy: I've gotta save them! Boy, this movie just gets better and better! [flies off. Fade to black. Fade to him using the computer at headquarters] Let's see... if I use the communicator to triangulate the signal from their transmission, I should be able to pinpoint their location! Aha! Bingo! Now I just have to find out who's behind all this... [Jorgen appears on the computer screen]
Jorgen: Let me save you the trouble, puny man! I—Jorgen Von Strangle, very tough fairy and obligatory action movie villain—and my kitty, Mr. Tuliptoes—[petting Mr. Tuliptoes] kitty, kitty, kitty!—are going to kidnap all the fairies in the world and then, using my brilliant magic-siphoning invention, [pulling the machine's lever to "suck"] I will suck the magic out of their pathetic fairy bodies... [the machine starts sucking magic from Cosmo and Wanda] and transfer it into my wand! [tosses Mr. Tuliptoes into a trash can and laughs evilly. Mr. Tuliptoes scowls]
Cosmo: Hey, I like older women, but... [withers] Wait! Wait! Stop!
Jorgen: [laughs] Soon, the world will be mine! [disappears in an explosion. Mr. Tuliptoes coughs. Jorgen captures various fairy godparents from around the planet, who appear in the machine]
Timmy: The horror! The pure, unadulterated, PG-13 horror!
Cosmo: You mustn't blame yourself, even though it is all your fault... [disintegrates]
Wanda: Timmy... remember... we love you... [disintegrates]
Timmy: Noooooooo![falls to his knees] I goofed up this world... now... I'm un-goofing it. [starts running. Fade to Jorgen's lair]
Jorgen: Yes, that's it. Heh heh heh. Drain those fairies of every last sprinkle of magic, my beautiful machine. [to Mr. Tuliptoes] Eh! Off with you! Go do... kitty things! I want to be alone with my wonderful invention. Ha ha! Oh... Who is a pretty machine? You are! Oh, yes, you are! Yes... [fade to an airplane in the sky. Timmy jumps out of it and parachutes toward Jorgen's castle. Fade to Jorgen] Oouh... Soon, all the world's magic will be at my disposal, and then I shall rule the world!
Timmy: Not so fast, Jorgen Von Poophead! [Jorgen scowls, breaking his monocle] Set the fairies free and gimme back my godparents!
Jorgen: You fool! By draining these fairies of their magic, I have done what I thought was impossible. I've found a way to make myself even more powerful!
Timmy: Oh crud.
Jorgen: [connects his wand to the machine] Now... witness... my... power! Prepare... [growing more muscular and tearing through his clothes] for your... doom!
Timmy: Oh double crud. He's gone mad with power. [Jorgen tries to zap him, but he escapes. He runs, rolls, and does a flying kick toward Jorgen, only to be stopped by his solid abdomen]
Jorgen: Pathetic human! [Timmy rolls away before Jorgen can hit him with the wand and hides behind various objects, which Jorgen zaps and turns into random things]
Timmy: [hides behind a pillar] He's too powerful. I can't dodge him forever. If only I could get to that machine. [with a boom, the pillar is gone and Jorgen is behind him] Oh triple crud.
Jorgen: It is over, Turner! Prepare to change your name to "the late Timmy Turner"! [lowers his wand toward him. Timmy screams. Jorgen raises his arms, as Mr. Tuliptoes is scratching on his face. He screams] Mr. Tuliptoes! What are you doing? Ah! Get off me! Ah! [coughs] Muscles... too huge! Can't... reach face! [Mr. Tuliptoes jumps off and smiles at him]
Timmy: Hey, jarhead! Lose something? [pulls the lever to "reverse suck" and breaks it]
Jorgen: Nooooooo![withering] Why did I put a reverse switch on it?
Timmy: 'Cause this is my movie! Uh-oh! It's overloading!
Jorgen: Eh! My muscles! My beautiful muscles! [Timmy runs and dives away as the machine explodes. The kidnapped fairies reappear by their godkids]
French Kid: My heart, she is glad! But my art... she will suffer! [Mr. Tuliptoes and Timmy high-five, and Mr. Tuliptoes leaves by jet pack]
Timmy: [runs up to Cosmo and Wanda] Guys!
Cosmo: We're young!
Wanda: We're magic!
Cosmo: And we're not dust! Thank goodness! I was allergic to myself!
Timmy: Guys, I'm so sorry... My selfish wish almost...
Jorgen: Noooooooo![Cosmo grabs his jaw]
Timmy: ...ruined everything for everybody. [Cosmo throws Jorgen away] Can you ever forgive me?
Wanda: Already done, Timmy. We love you! So, Timmy, got any more wishes?
Timmy: I sure do!
Jorgen: Noooooooo!
Timmy: [jumps onto Jorgen's neck] I wish the world was back to its normal, boring, [throwing Jorgen away] safe self! [Jorgen crashes offscreen]
Cosmo: You got it! [he and Wanda grant the wish. Fade to black. Fade in on the house in the morning]
Rooster: Cock-a-doodle... Doo? [cowers, then blinks] Whew.
Timmy: [looks around the kitchen] Cool! Same boring house! Same boring breakfast! Same boring life! Hey, where are my same boring parents? [hears a gunshot] Oh no! [sees his parents watching TV]
Mrs. Turner: That Ryan McCain is a loose-cannon cop on the edge!
Mr. Turner: Boom! Yeah, this is cool! I wish my life could be an action movie!
Timmy: Trust me. No, you don't.
Mr. Turner: That's it! You're off the case!
Mrs. Turner: Hi-yah! [punches Mr. Turner, who lands behind the couch]
Timmy: Who's up for a nice, safe disease-of-the-week movie?
Mr. Turner: Ooh! I am!
Timmy: I thought so! [iris out. "The End" comes out of an explosion. Fade to black]
