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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "A Mile In My Shoes" from Season 2, which aired on May 10, 2002.
Transcript[]
- [Fade in on the Turners' house at night. In the fishbowl, Cosmo is rubbing his and Wanda's wands over candles on a dinner table]
- Cosmo: [shouts] If I could just light these candles, we could eat!
- Wanda: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?
- Cosmo: That's why I'm trying to light these candles! Somebody's gotta dry off all this wet food!
- Timmy: [enters the room holding a stack of textbooks] Hey, guys! What's new? [the books fall on him. Cosmo lights the candles]
- Wanda: Uh... the laws of physics?
- Timmy: I've got a report on dinosaurs due tomorrow. I wish my room were a prehistoric forest! [the fairies come out of the bowl and grant the wish] Cool! Thanks, guys!
- Cosmo: [riding a pterodactyl] Whoo! We'll have to clean this up before we leave tomorrow morning, Timmy! [lands in a dinosaur's mouth. The dinosaur closes its mouth. Wanda hits it on the head, and it opens its mouth again]
- Timmy: What? Where are you going?
- Wanda: To Fairy World! We need to get our crowns certified, and our wands are due for their 3,000-wish tune-up! [her wand goes limp]
- Cosmo: And I'm getting mine waxed! [the stick of his wand looks like hairy human skin]
- Wanda: Sorry we won't be able to zap you to school tomorrow, sweetie!
- Timmy: That's okay. My dad can drive me. Provided he hasn't done anything stupid to the car. [cut to the garage] You tried to make a giant fighting robot?
- Mr. Turner: So? The Dinklebergs have one! Besides, you can take the bus. [uses the robot to drop his hat in front of Timmy]
- Timmy: [sees the school bus leaving] Wait! Darn it! Well... at least it's a nice day... [a thunderstorm starts] I hope Cosmo and Wanda are having fun... [fade to Fairy World]
- Jorgen: [to Cosmo, Wanda and other fairies] Before we tune up your wands... we must tune up your puny fairy bodies! It is time for Wand-ups! [Cosmo and Wanda's wands appear above them; as Wanda uses her wand to do pull-ups] One... two... one... two... one... two...
- Cosmo: [draws on a sketch pad] Hey! I made a monkey!
- Jorgen: [turns Cosmo into a monkey] So did I. [grabs him] Monkey Wand-ups! Now! [as Cosmo does them with his tail] One... two... one... two... [fade to Dimmsdale Elementary. Timmy enters, then screams as water from outside floods the hallway]
- Timmy: I already missed first period but I'm still in time for... [a school bell rings, and he enters the gymnasium. Kids holding volleyballs are facing him] gym? What's goin' on?
- AJ: We're playing dodgeball!
- Chester: It's "dries" versus "wets".
- AJ: Think fast! [he and the others throw volleyballs. Cut to outside the gym. Round dents appear on the wall, followed by one in the shape of Timmy's body. Timmy moans offscreen. Fade to the house in the evening. Cosmo and Wanda appear in Timmy's room and fall to the floor, exhausted]
- Cosmo: Oh, my aching wings... [his wings shatter]
- Wanda: Well, at least Timmy's smiling face and cheerful disposition will make the pain go away! [Timmy enters. A volleyball pops off his face, which it has indented]
- Cosmo: I don't see a smiling face. [Timmy's face pops back to normal, and he makes a frown. Cosmo looks at it upside down] There it is!
- Wanda: Oh, sorry, sweetie... we were gone longer than we thought.
- Timmy: Aw, well, great! Because you guys had to poof off to Camp Happy-Crowny-ville, I got rained and volleyballed on! You have no idea how hard it is to be a kid!
- Wanda: [sarcastically] Yeah, having us grant your every wish all day long must really take a toll on your nerves! Being a fairy is no day at the beach either!
- Timmy: [sarcastically] Oh, right! Having unlimited magical powers and acting goofy all day long would depress anybody! How do you stand it?
- Wanda: Well, if you think it's so easy being a fairy, why don't you try it?
- Timmy: You're on! I wish I could be your Fairy Godparent! [Cosmo and Wanda turn into copies of Timmy, retaining their eyes and hair color, and fall to the floor. Timmy becomes a Fairy Godparent and floats]
- Cosmo: Hey! I'm Timmy!
- Wanda: And I'm Timmy!
- Timmy: And I'm a fairy! And I can float! [a giant robot fist breaks through a wall. Mr. and Mrs. Turner are in the completed robot]
- Mrs. Turner: Wow, honey! Your giant fighting robot really works! [Mr. Turner uses the robot to feel around the floor of the room]
- Cosmo: Ah! It's your parents! [Timmy looks around. Cosmo and Wanda hide under the blanket]
- Wanda: Get in the fishbowl!
- Timmy: Right... right... [he raises his wand and "poofs" into the bowl as an old fish] Old fish! [poofs outside the bowl as a hammerhead shark]
- Wanda: Not so easy, is it, sport?
- Mrs. Turner: Let's tuck Timmy in!
- Mr. Turner: With mighty fighting robot action! [presses a button that makes the head of the robot fly off]
- Timmy: Think. Fish. Me. Fish. Goldfish. [turns into a goldfish and falls into the bowl] Cool! I'm a goldfish! I'm... [suffocates] I forgot to give myself gills! [coughs. Mr. and Mrs. Turner touch down in the room, and Wanda hides under the blanket while Cosmo stays visible. Cosmo sweats]
- Mrs. Turner: [to Cosmo] Aw, sweetie... [touching his forehead] you feel warm! And you look positively green!
- Mr. Turner: Warm? Green? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer! And the salad shooter! [zips away. Mrs. Turner looks at Timmy, who is floating upside down]
- Mrs. Turner: I'd better get the fish a thermometer, too! [fade to night. Wanda is watching TV in the living room]
- Mr. Turner: Good news, honey! I'm fighting the Dinklebergs' robot car tomorrow! [they see Wanda]
- Mrs. Turner: Timmy! What are you doing up this late? It's way past your bedtime!
- Wanda: But... uh... but...
- Mr. Turner: No buts! Straight to bed, young man, and don't make me get the giant robot in here! [he and Mrs. Turner go into the kitchen, where Cosmo is reaching into a cookie jar]
- Mrs. Turner: Timmy? What are you doing in here? You were just in there!
- Cosmo: Uh... no, I wasn't?
- Mr. Turner: Well, that settles that. But you know you're not supposed to eat sweets this late at night... or change from pink to green. [fade to later that night. Cosmo and Wanda are in Timmy's bed]
- Timmy: [in fairy form] See? I've got a rule book too. It's called "Mom and Dad". Not so easy bein' a kid, is it?
- Wanda: Just wait. You're in for your own rude awakening tomorrow.
- Timmy: Ooo, lemme guess. I have to use magic to solve all my problems.
- Wanda: Not your problems. Ours! Tomorrow's Saturday and that means wishes, wishes and more wishes! And as our Fairy Godparent, you have to grant them all! No matter how stupid! [Timmy turns into an octopus. He lands on the floor, the fishbowl falls around his head and he leaks ink]
- Cosmo: And, man, am I all over that! Good night, Inky Butt! [Timmy turns into an electric eel, a whale and a walrus and continues transforming until morning. He changes from a turtle into a seahorse and a pufferfish, then turns into a goldfish and lands in the bowl. An alarm clock rings, and Cosmo and Wanda wake up]
- Wanda: Good morning, Timmy!
- Cosmo: Good morning, Timmy!
- Timmy: Hey, guys! Look! I finally got the fish thing down! Check it out... Gills!
- Wanda: Well, that's just great, Timmy! I wish you were a puppy!
- Timmy: But...
- Cosmo: We want a puppy!
- Timmy: [poofs outside the bowl as a puppy–fish hybrid] Darn it! I still can't get that right... [suffocating] Can't... breathe! Need... water! [screams and jumps headfirst into the bowl]
- Wanda: And I wish I had a hot fudge sundae! Come on! Let's pick it up, kiddo!
- Vicky: [offscreen] Hey, twerp! Guess who!
- Cosmo and Wanda: Vicky! [Cosmo zips beside the door, which Vicky opens on him]
- Vicky: Your parents are in a giant robot fight and I'm in charge! Guess what rhymes with chores! More chores! [she tosses Wanda cleaning equipment, leaves and closes the door, which Cosmo falls off]
- Wanda: Look at all this stuff she's making us do!
- Cosmo: This is gonna take forever without magic! But luckily...
- Cosmo and Wanda: We've got a Fairy Godparent!
- Timmy: What? [fade to Wanda dragging a trash bag to the curb. The bag rips and bursts]
- Wanda: Oh, Godparent! [Timmy appears in fairy form]
- Timmy: What now?
- Wanda: I wish the trash was somewhere else.
- Timmy: Okay... [turns into an octopus]
- Vicky: [walks up to Wanda] Ha! Pick up the trash and the octopus, squirt! [Timmy crawls away from her. Fade to Cosmo trimming hedges in the front yard]
- Cosmo: There! All nice and symmetrical! Wow! I didn't even know I knew that word! [he has made a topiary of himself. A giant robot leg crushes it. Cosmo looks up and sees the robot and Mr. Turner's]
- Mr. Turner: [gasps] My hedges! Curse you, Dinkleberg! [uses his robot to punch Mr. Dinkleberg's] Ha! Take that, Dinkleberg! [Dinkleberg's robot tackles his. Timmy appears. He has tentacles for arms]
- Cosmo: Man, am I glad you're here! I wish the hedges were fixed!
- Timmy: When do I get to have any fun?
- Mr. Turner: [chasing Dinkleberg] Come back here, Dinkleberg! [Timmy turns into a balloon and floats away. Cosmo dives into the hedges, and Mr. Turner's robot passes by]
- Timmy: [floating up] Hey! What? Whoaaaa! Man, I just can't get the hang of this fairy business! I need training. That's it! I'll go to Fairy World and learn how to be a better fairy than Cosmo or Wanda! [poofs to a graveyard] Fairy World?
- Vampire: Scary World.
- Timmy: You're not that scary.
- Vampire: Yeah, well, here's a photo of your grandma's feet!
- Timmy: [screams at the photo] It burns! [disappears and appears in a hairy world] Fairy World?
- Sasquatch: Hairy World. [a cow fairy appears]
- Cow Fairy: Dairy World?
- Timmy: Hairy World.
- Cow Fairy: Oh, darn it! [disappears. Timmy poofs to Fairy World]
- Timmy: Fairy World! I did it!
- Jorgen: [grabs Timmy] You fairy with silly, pink hat. You must do Wand-ups! Now! [as Timmy does so] One... two... three... [fade to the house]
- Wanda: [cleaning dishes in the kitchen] Wow, this reeks! Where's our Fairy Godparent?
- Cosmo: What difference does it make? As long as Vicky's around, we can't make wishes! [looks somewhere and hides in a cabinet]
- Vicky: [comes in] Wow! [looking at a plate] It's so clean, I can see myself! [drops the plate] And now I can't! Good thing the garbage disposal's busted! [dumps trash in the sink; giving Wanda a shovel] Start shoveling! [leaving] I'll be busy sleeping!
- Wanda: She's worse than Jorgen! [fade to Timmy running on a bridge]
- Timmy: And how does this help me in being a Fairy Godparent?
- Jorgen: To hone the magic reflexes! A needy child could wish for anything at any given moment! You must be ready! [zaps the bridge away. Timmy falls, then floats back up]
- Timmy: Big deal! I can fly! [his wings are zapped away. He falls and screams]
- Jorgen: Save yourself, new fairy! Think fast!
- Timmy: I... I... wait! That's it! [he makes volleyballs appear on the ground below and lands on them. He removes one from his face, which pops back to normal] This fairy stuff is harder than I thought! And I'm sick of these things.
- Jorgen: If you don't like it, maybe you should go back to being a puny little human boy!
- Timmy: Yeah. I'm not much of a Godparent, but bein' a kid is one thing I know I'm really good at. But before I go... [makes the cow fairy fall on Jorgen]
- Jorgen: Ooof!
- Cow Fairy: Dairy World?
- Timmy: Fairy World.
- Cow Fairy: Oh, darn it! [Timmy poofs to his room. Cosmo and Wanda stare at him, and they all laugh]
- Timmy: I didn't realize you have just as much junk to deal with as I do. Jorgen's a creep!
- Wanda: Yeah, well, Vicky ain't exactly a trip to Cherry World either.
- Cosmo: [gasps] Ooo! Cherry World! Cherry World! Can we go there?
- Wanda: I wish he had a muzzle. [Timmy makes a jigsaw puzzle appear] Puzzle. Close enough.
- Timmy: I thought being a fairy would be fun, but I learned it's more fun to be a kid because I have you guys to make it better. So... uh... I'm, uh...
- Wanda: Apology accepted, sport! We wish you were a kid again, and we wish we were fairies again! [Timmy grants the wish. Cosmo and Wanda are now cow fairies]
- Timmy: Darn it! [falls to the bed]
- Cow Fairy: [appears] Finally! Dairyworld! [Mr. Turner breaks through a wall with the robot and waves. Cosmo poofs himself and Wanda into the fishbowl]
- Mr. Turner: Ah, [grabs the cow fairy] finally! I can use this for my Milk Powered Engine!
- Cow Fairy: Moo? [Mr. Turner leaves]
- Timmy: [to Cosmo and Wanda] Don't blame me, I'm just a kid. [winks. Iris out on his eye. The end title card is shown. Fade to black]
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OY!C ★ 1 ★ 2 ★ 3 ★ 4 ★ 5 ★ 6 ★ 7 ★ 8 ★ 9 ★ 10 | ||
#01 Boys in the Band | #02 Hex Games | #03 Boy Toy |
#04 Inspection Detection | #05 Action Packed | #06 Smarty Pants |
#07 Super Bike | #08 A Mile In My Shoes | #09 Timvisible |
#10 That Old Black Magic | #11 Foul Balled | #12 The Boy Who Would Be Queen |
#13 Totally Spaced Out | #14 The Switch Glitch | #15 Mighty Mom and Dyno Dad |
#16 Knighty Knight | #17 Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary | #18 Nectar of the Odds |
#19 Hail To The Chief | #20 Twistory | #21 Fools Day Out |
#22 Deja Vu | #23 Information Stupor Highway | #24 Scary GodParents |