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The Fairly OddParents!
episode transcript
"A Mile In My Shoes"
Season №: 2
Episode №: 11B
Airdate: May 10, 2002
Transcript List

This article is a transcript of the The Fairly OddParents! episode, "A Mile In My Shoes" from Season 2, which aired on May 10, 2002.


Script[]

[The episode begins with the night at Turner Residence. In Cosmo and Wanda's Fishbowl, Cosmo and Wanda are next to a dinner table.]

  • Cosmo: (tries to light candlesticks with his wand) I could just light these candles, we could eat!
  • Wanda: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?
  • Cosmo: That's why I'm trying to light the candles! Somebody's gotta dry all this wet food off!
  • Timmy: (enters carrying stacks of books) Hey, guys! What's new? Amazingly, Cosmo gets the candles to light.
  • Wanda: (looks at the candle) Uh...the laws of physics?
  • Timmy: I've got a report on dinosaurs due tomorrow. I wish my room were a prehistoric forest!

[Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and POOF! Prehistoric plants and animals cover Timmy's room.]

  • Timmy: (walks around) Cool! Thanks, guys!
  • Cosmo: We'll have to clean this up before we leave tomorrow morning, Timmy!
  • Timmy: What? Where are you going?
  • Wanda: To Fairy World! We need to get our crowns certified, and our wands are due for their 3,000 wish tune-up!
  • Cosmo: (shows his wand but has hair on it) I'm getting mine waxed!
  • Wanda: Sorry we won't be able to ZAP you to school tomorrow, sweetie!
  • Timmy: That's okay. My dad can drive me. Provided he hasn't done anything stupid to the car.

[The scene switches to Timmy at the garage.]

  • Timmy: (glares at Mr. Turner) You tried to make a giant fighting robot?
  • Mr. Turner: (sits glumly in a pile of car engine gears and parts) So? The Dinklebergs have one. (he used the robot's arm to take his hat off and put it on the floor) Besides, you can take the bus.

[Timmy runs into scene as the school bus drove away.]

  • Timmy: Wait! Darn it. Well... at least it's a nice day... [Clouds zips in and starts raining hard. He turns to his dad who still sits in the garage.] Dad? Do you have an umbrella?
  • Mr. Turner: Sorry, Son. I'm using it as part of the missile defense system.
  • Timmy: (through clenched teeth) I hope Cosmo and Wanda are having fun...

[As Timmy boldly heads into the rain, the scene changes to Fairy World, followed by the camera pushing in into Fairy Academy.]

  • Jorgen: (voiceover) Before we tune up your wands... we must tune up your puny fairy bodies!

[Cosmo and Wanda's wands float above their heads as Jorgen stands nearby.]

  • Jorgen: It is time for Wand-ups! One... two... one... two...

[Wanda starts doing wand-ups, while Cosmo doodles with a big crayon on a doodle pad.]

  • Cosmo: Hey! I made a monkey!
  • Jorgen: (points his wand and aims at Cosmo and the laser changes him into a monkey) So did I. Monkey Wand-ups! Now!

[Cosmo as a monkey, grabs the wand with his tail, and starts exercising. Later at Dimmsdale Elementary School, Timmy opens the door and a flood of water pushes him to the doors of the gym, soaked.]

  • Timmy: I already missed first period but I'm still in time for... (swings the gym doors open) ...gym...? (sees Chester, A.J., and every other kids in class, standing in front of him as they hold volleyballs) What's going on?
  • A.J.: We're playing Dodgeball...
  • Chester: And it's dries versus 'wets'.
  • A.J.: Think fast!

[The entire class threw their dodgeballs at Timmy to wall, showing imprint of Timmy's body, pop out from the door. Later that evening, Cosmo and Wanda, floats tiredly in Timmy's bedroom and falls in the floor.]

  • Cosmo: Oh, my aching wings...
  • Wanda: At least Timmy's smiling face and cheerful disposition will make the pain go away!

[Timmy slams the door open with a volleyball in his face. A volleyball falls off Timmy's head and bounces offscreen as Timmy frowns.]

  • Cosmo: (looks at Timmy) I don't see a smiling face. (flips upside down and looks at Timmy again) There it is!!
  • Wanda: Sorry, Sweetie... we were gone longer than we thought.
  • Timmy: Well, great! Because you guys had to POOF off to Camp Happy-Crowny-ville, I got rained and Volley-balled on! (beat) You have no idea how hard it is to be a kid!
  • Wanda: (sarcastic) Yeah, having us grant your every wish all day must really take a toll on your nerves! Being a fairy is no day at the beach either!!
  • Timmy: Oh, right! Having unlimited magical powers and acting goofy all day long would depress anybody! How do you stand it?? (Looks at Cosmo who is wearing a COURT JESTER outfit and bonking himself on the head with a FLOUNDER.)
  • Cosmo: I think it's wrong of you to judge Wanda that way, Timmy.
  • Wanda: (to Timmy) Well, if you think it's so easy being a fairy, why don't YOU try it?!
  • Timmy: You're on! I wish I could be your Fairy Godparent!

[POOF! Cosmo and Wanda became Timmy with his outfits and their floaty crown, wings, and wand disappear as they fall next to Timmy. Timmy now became a fairy godparent, complete with floaty crown, wand, and wings. Timmy as a fairy, floats next to Cosmo and Wanda.]

  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Hey! I'm Timmy!
  • Wanda (as Timmy): And I'm Timmy!
  • Timmy: And I'm a Fairy! And I can float!

[Suddenly, the giant robot fist pushes through Timmy's bedroom wall. Mr. and Mrs. Turner controls Mr. Turner's giant robot as he shoved the robot's fist through Timmy's bedroom wall.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Wow, Honey! Your giant fighting robot really works!!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): It's your parents! Think fast!

[Cosmo and Wanda as Timmy both jump into bed.]

  • Wanda (as Timmy): You know the rules, Timmy! Be a goldfish!
  • Timmy: Right... right... (waves his wand and tries to become a goldfish, but ends up as an old catfish, whose whole head sticks in the bowl, tail flapping around in the air.) Old fish! (waves his wand again and becomes a hammerhead shark that lands on the ground with a giant thud and begins to flop around the floor.) Darn it!
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Not so easy, is it, Sport?

[In the giant robot, Mr. and Mrs. Turner sit in the cockpit.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Let's tuck Timmy in!
  • Mr. Turner: With mighty fighting robot action! (hits a button, where rocket boosters fire and the robot's head separates from the robot's body. He flies the head into Timmy's room.)
  • Timmy: (as the shark, flops around the room) Think. Fish. Me. Fish. Goldfish. (finally poofs and plops into the bowl as a goldfish) Cool! I'm a goldfish! I'm... (gasps) I forgot to give my self gills!

[Mr. and Mrs. Turner land the robot head and step out. Wanda (as Timmy) ducks under the covers as Mrs. Turner walks over to Cosmo (as Timmy) and rubs his head.]

  • Mrs. Turner: (while talking to "Timmy") Aw, Sweetie... you feel warm! And you look positively green!
  • Mr. Turner: Warm? Green? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer! And the salad shooter!
  • Mrs. Turner: (while seeing Timmy as a goldfish bobbing up and down in the fishbowl upside down) I'd better get the fish a thermometer, too!
  • Mr. Turner: (stands near the robot hand) You can't. I used it to focus the laser cannon. (hits a button and blasts a hole in the wall)

[In the living room, Wanda (as Timmy) is sitting on the couch watching TV, eating chips. Mr. and Mrs. Turner walk in from offscreen as Mr. Turner hangs up a phone.]

  • Mr. Turner: Good news, Honey! I'm fighting the Dinklebergs' robot car tomorrow!
  • Mrs. Turner: TIMMY! What are you doing up this late? It is way past your bedtime!
  • Wanda (as Timmy): But...
  • Mr. Turner: No buts! Straight to bed young man, and don't make me get the giant robot in here!

[Wanda (as Timmy) exits up the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Turner walk into the kitchen and enters. Cosmo (as Timmy) is trying to reach the cookie jar.]

  • Mrs. Turner: Timmy? What are you doing in here? You were just in there!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Uh... no I wasn't?
  • Mr. Turner: Well, that settles that. But you know you're not supposed to eat sweets this late at night... (notices Timmy is now green) ...or change from pink to green.
  • Mrs. Turner: Off to bed now.

[Cosmo (as Timmy) slinks off. Later that night in Timmy's bedroom.]

  • Timmy: See? I've got a rule book too. It's called 'Mom and Dad'. Not so easy bein' a kid is it?
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Yeah, well... just wait. You're in for your own rude awakening tomorrow.
  • Timmy: (sarcastic) Let me guess. I have to use magic to solve all my problems?
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Not your problems. OURS! Tomorrow's Saturday and that means wishes, wishes and more wishes! And as our Fairy Godparent you have to grant them all! No matter how stupid!

[Timmy waves his wand and POOF! He turns into an octopus and completely crashes around the fishbowl.]

  • Cosmo (as Timmy): And, Man, am I all over that! Good night, Squiddly Diddly!

[Timmy, as an octopus, waves his wand and poofs into an eel, then a whale, then a walrus, and continues to poof as he tries to get it right. The next morning, he continued to poof into different animals as he turned into a turtle, then a seahorse, then a pufferfish, and finally plops into a fishbowl as a goldfish with gills.]

  • Wanda (as Timmy): Good morning, Timmy!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Good morning, Timmy!
  • Timmy: Look, Guys! I finally got the fish thing down! Look...Gills!
  • Wanda (as Timmy): That's great, Timmy! I wish you were a puppy!
  • Timmy: But...
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): We want a puppy!
  • Timmy: (poofs out of the fishbowl and becomes a puppy with a fin and gills) Darn it! I still can't get that... (gasps) Can't breathe! Need water! (shoves his face in the fishbowl)
  • Wanda (as Timmy): And I wish I had a hot fudge sundae! Come on! Lets pick it up, Kiddo!
  • Timmy: I'll try but...
  • Vicky: (offscreen) Hey, Twerp! Guess who!
  • All: VICKY!

[Timmy, still as a dog, dives into the bowl. Suddenly, Vicky kicks the door open, cramming Cosmo (as Timmy) behind it. ]

  • Vicky: (talks to "Timmy") Your parents are in a giant robot fight and I'm in charge! Guess what rhymes with 'chores'? (grabs "Timmy") CHORES!!!! (pulls out an equipment and hands it to "Timmy" and exits)

[Cosmo (as Timmy) steps up from the door and storms next to Wanda.]

  • Wanda (as Timmy): Look at all this stuff she's making us do!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): This is going to take forever without magic! But luckily...
  • Cosmo and Wanda (as Timmy):We've got a Fairy Godparent!
  • Timmy: (on the fishbowl) What?

[Meanwhile, Wanda (as Timmy) struggles to carry a huge bag of garbage. The bag rips open, sending trash everywhere.]

  • Wanda (as Timmy): Oh, Godparent!
  • Timmy: (poofs as a fairy next to Wanda) What now?
  • Wanda (as Timmy): I wish the trash was somewhere else.
  • Timmy: Okay...
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Vicky!

[POOF! Timmy turns into an Octopus again and slithers as Vicky arrives.]

  • Vicky: (talks to "Timmy") HA! Pick up the trash and the octopus, twerp! (storms off)
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): (after clipping the hedges): There! All nice and symmetrical! Wow, I didn't even know I knew that word.

[Then, two gigantic fighting robots tumble through the scene crushing the hedges Cosmo trimmed.]

  • Mr. Turner: My hedges! Curse you, Dinkleberg! (the giant robot punches another robot) Ha! Take that, Dinkleberg!

[POOF! Timmy as a fairy with two tentacles, hanging off his body, arrives in front of Cosmo.]

  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Man, am I glad you're here! I wish the hedges were fixed!
  • Timmy: (wearily raises his wand) When do I get to have fun?
  • Mr. Turner: (chases Dinkleberg) Come back here, Dinkleberg!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): It's your Dad!
  • Timmy: (poofs and becomes a balloon and gets blown away by the wind) Hey! Wha..? Whoaaaa!!!!!!!!
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Look out for the Dinklebergs!
  • Timmy: (as a balloon, floats through the sky) Man, I just can't get the hang of this fairy business! I need training. That's it! I'll go to Fairy World and learn how to be a better fairy than Cosmo or Wanda! (waves his wand and poofs to Scary World and pops in next to Vampire)
  • Timmy: Fairy World?
  • Vampire: Scary World.
  • Timmy: You're not that scary.
  • Vampire: Well, here's a photo of your grandma's feet! (shows the picture of a hideous foot)
  • Timmy: (while screaming): It burns! (poofs away to another world)
  • Timmy: Fairy World?
  • Hairy Guy: Hairy World.

[A cow suddenly appeared.]

  • Cow: Dairy World?
  • Timmy: Hairy World.
  • Cow: Oh, darn it!
  • Timmy: (waves his wand again and finally poofs to Fairy World) Fairy World! I did it! (grabbed by Jorgen)
  • Jorgen: Wand-ups, new fairy! Now! (Timmy starts his wand-ups)

[Back at Turner Residence, an exhausted Wanda (as Timmy) does dishes. Cosmo hides under the garbage disposal.]

  • Wanda (as Timmy): Wow, this reeks! Where's our Fairy Godparent?
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): What difference does it make? As long as Vicky's around we can't make wishes!

[Wanda (as Timmy) puts the last dish down as Vicky enters, carrying a garbage bag and picks up a dish out of the sink.]

  • Vicky: Wow! It's so clean I can see myself! (dumps the garbage bag into the sink) And now I can't! Good thing the garbage disposal's busted! Start shoveling! I'll be busy sleeping!!! (hands "Timmy" a shovel and prances happily offscreen)
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): (looks at "Timmy") She's worse than Jorgen!

[Back at Fairy World, Timmy crosses a suspended rope bridge over a giant gorge.]

  • Timmy: How does this help me in being a Fairy Godparent?
  • Jorgen: To hone the magic reflexes! A needy child could wish for anything at any given moment! You must be ready!!! (waves his wand and zaps the rope bridge that disappears)
  • Timmy: Big deal! I can fly! (Jorgen zaps his wings and falls) AHHH!!!
  • Jorgen: (appears beside Timmy as he falls) Save yourself, new fairy! Think fast!!!!
  • Timmy: I...I... wait! That's it!!! (waves his wand and poofs a sea of volleyballs, below the canyon. He lands on the volleyball on his face and grabs it.) This fairy stuff is harder than I thought! And I'm sick of these things.
  • Jorgen: (appears next to him) If you don't like it, maybe you should go back to being a puny little human boy!
  • Timmy: Yeah. I'm not much of a Godparent, but bein' a kid is one thing I know I'm really good at. But before I go... (waves his wand and poofs a cow)
  • Jorgen: (The cow lands on him) Ooof!
  • Timmy: Yes! It worked!
  • Cow: Dairy World?
  • Timmy: Fairy World.
  • Cow: DARN IT!!!

[Timmy waves his wand and returns to his bedroom, with a totally exhausted Wanda and Cosmo collapse on his bed. They all stare at each other, then laugh.]

  • Timmy: I didn't realize you have just as much gunk to deal with as I do. Jorgen's a creep!
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Yeah, well, Vicky ain't a trip to Cherry World either.
  • Cosmo (as Timmy): Ooo! Cherry World! Can we go there?
  • Wanda (as Timmy): I wish he had a muzzle. (Timmy poofs up a jigsaw puzzle) Puzzle. Close enough.
  • Timmy: I thought being a fairy would be fun, but I learned it's more fun to be a kid because I have you guys to make it BETTER. So... uh...I'm, uh...
  • Wanda (as Timmy): Apology accepted, sport! We wish you were a kid again, and we wish we were Fairies again!

[Timmy waves his wand and poof! Cosmo and Wanda are turned into cow fairies.]

  • Timmy: Darn it!
  • Cow: (poofs in) Darn it!

[The giant robot crashes through Timmy's bedroom wall, with Mr. Turner at the controls. Cosmo and Wanda poof into the fishbowl as a goldfish.]

  • Mr. Turner: (looks at the cow, excitedly) Finally! I can use this for my Milk Powered Engine!
  • Cow: (grabbed by the giant robot) Moo?
  • Timmy: Don't blame me, I'm just a kid.

[Timmy winks and smiles as the scene fades out to black.]


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