The Fair Bears (transcript)

Script
Timmy: School's out! [Timmy does a flip.] The nightmare's over!
 * [The episode begins at Dimmsdale Elementary School. The school day has ended and two school buses are parked outside. The school students run outside and cheer.]

Student: I'm never going back! [his voice echoes as he runs off into the forest.] Tell my story! Chloe: Boy, this was a hectic day. I taught the kindergardeners mandarin-chinese, and created an experimental cure for male pattern baldness.
 * [Chloe walks into the scene. She is carrying a red book.]

Timmy: You think you accomplished a lot? [Timmy pulls out his smartphone.] I found a new app that shows me what I look like with a beard. Check it! ''[Timmy's phone shows a loading screen. Then, it shows a picture of Timmy. The picture of Timmy suddenly grows a grey beard.] ''Ladies, get in line! Cosmo: Hey, Timmy and Chloe! ''[Cosmo is holding a smartphone. A picture of Wanda is displayed on the phone.] ''Check out this new app. [The picture of Wanda suddenly grows a brown beard.] This is what Wanda looks like with a beard!
 * Cosmo and Wanda poof next to Timmy and Chloe. They are disguised as green and pink birds, respectively.]

Wanda: Gentlemen, get in line!

Chloe: Oh, I know the perfect way to relax after a day of super-achieving. You guys are gonna love it! Cosmo and Wanda, poof us to my house.

Denzel Crocker: Chloe! [Crocker opens a window from the school building.] Thanks to your experimental baldness cure, [Crocker shows his newly grown blonde hair] I have hair! [Crocker also sticks his newly grown green webbed foot outside the window, which is a side-effect of Chloe's cure.] And oddly, webbed feet. But I'm okay with that! Chloe: Let's start the fun with some healthy snacks! ''[Chloe places the plate of "cookies" onto a light-blue stool. ''
 * [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and poof themselves, Timmy, and Chloe to Chloe's bedroom.]
 * [Cosmo, Wanda, and Timmy arrive in Chloe's bedroom. Cosmo and Wanda have changed back into their normal forms. Chloe opens her bedroom door with her foot, and brings in a plate of "cookies".]

Timmy: ''[Timmy takes one of the "cookies" and takes a bite out it. Timmy begins to chew the "cookie". He immediately spits the "cookie" out.] ''Something terrible's happening in my mouth, this is not a cookie!

Chloe: [Chloe is holding an eaten "cookie".] It's better! It's a Tofookie. A cookie-like disk made with tofu and something called ''[Chloe pulls out a jar of Cricket Protein. The jar has a picture of a cricket on the front and the words, "Cricket Protein" in dark-green.] ''Cricket Protein.

Timmy: Why!?

Chloe: Now lets bump up the fun! [Chloe's pupils turn into a blue swirl] We're gonna watch the greatest television show ever made. ''[We see a poster for a show called "The Fair Bears". The poster has three bears riding down a rainbow, and it has the words "Fair Bears" on the top left corner. Chloe appears on the bottom-right corner of the screen.] ''The Fair Bears!

Timmy: That show is the worst. I thought it was cancelled. Why wasn't it cancelled?

Chloe: It was! [Chloe pulls out a box set of "The Fair Bears" from her drawers.] But I have all 26 seasons on DVD! [Chloe's face turns dark-red, her hair sets aflame, her eyes turn red, and green on the outside, and she has fangs in her mouth.] 'NEVER TOUCH THEM! '''[Chloe's face turn's back to normal. She is smiling, and her face is sparkling. Chloe giggles, as she walks over to her DVD player. She inserts a DVD into the DVD player.]''
 * [The T.V turns on, and the DVD begins to play. Rock music begins to play in the background. The words "Fair Bears" appear on the screen.]
 * [Song "The Fair Bears Theme Song"]

The Fair Bears: ♪ Welcome to a world that's always fair. Get lots of wuv from friendly bears who care. Be happy, be fair. Be truthful, and share! We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair! ♪
 * Happy Ray uses a magical flower to create a rainbow. The Fair Bears ride the rainbow]

Timmy: Stop telling me what to do, Fair Bears!

Fair Bear:  ♪ So if your stressed or feeling blue, come play with us the whole day through. We're ready for fun. So how 'bout you? ♪

The Fair Bears: ♪ We're the Fair Bears, and we're fair! ♪