Cosmo/Quotes


 * "What's wrong with being naked in public?"

Cosmo: [sniffs the air] Wow! Freedom stinks.
 * Timmy: A world without girls! [farts] I'm free!


 * [Referring to Philip] "It's a girl nickel!"


 * "'We' can refer to anything, we three, we the people, and my favorite - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"


 * [singing] "And I know I'm forgetful I know I'm dim and even though I've just eaten I know I'll swim."


 * [After Wanda says "pudding"] "She said 'pu' and then 'ding'!" [laughs hysterically]


 * [right after Vicky cries for help] "Sorry, the secret word was "pie"." [throws pie in Vicky's face]


 * "Uh, Binky did it! TO THE ESCAPE POD!!!"


 * "Ah...good times, good times..."


 * "And corn is niceeee"


 * "A nickel! Mine!"


 * "I hope he wishes for pudding!"


 * "Aaah! That book is terrifying, there are words in it!"


 * "Oh, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy! What about my needs!?"


 * "I regret nothing!"


 * "There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! Wow! There wasn't a single manly word in that sentence!"


 * [to Wanda] "Do you mind?! Your disembodied head is nag nag nagging next to my severed ear!"


 * "Ha! I'm licking the popcorn so I don't have to share it!"


 * "So much clogging!!!"


 * "I like monkeys!" (head flattens)


 * "Whoo Whoo Baby! Whoo Whoo!"


 * "Let's do the nag! You nag it to the left! You nag to the right! Come on everybody let's Nag tonight! I'm a livin' doll!"


 * "Ducky!"


 * "Wanda! You have some explain' to do!


 * "Uh... Babbaloo?"


 * "Phillip!"


 * "A hug would be nice!!"


 * "Ah, the great outdoors, and no wife! Ooh yeah, I'm gonna swing, daddy-o! I'm gonna call on my old friends! [leafing through book] Let's see, Wanda, Wanda with a little star next to it, Panda, no that's Wanda with a smudge on the 'W'. I... I... [crying] I miss Wanda!"


 * "You always were great with dessert!"


 * "Well, she's not perfect, but she is the one who said yes."


 * "I slaved over a hot wand for this?!!"


 * "We're two halves of a whole idiot!"


 * "I'm not bright, big words confuse me, I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda loves me anyway! She makes me happy, and that should be enough for you!"


 * Cosmo: If I could just light these candles, we could eat!
 * Wanda: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?
 * Cosmo: That's why I'm trying to light these candles. Somebody's got to dry up all this wet food!


 * Wanda: We don't want to be her godparents! She's mean!
 * Cosmo: Yeah, we like Timmy better! His hat is pink!


 * "Yippie! That ouched!"


 * "Snowball!"


 * "A magic wand in the wrong hands could mean total disaster... and Vicky's hands are the worst hands around!"


 * Wanda: I've made reservations at Chez Fairee, the best restaurant in Fairy World.
 * Cosmo: Ohhh, then I'd better learn how to use the soup spoon properly! [hits himself with it] Ow ow ow!


 * Cosmo: We're dining in the bathroom? Then I'd better learn how to use toilet paper. [again hits himself with it] Ow ow ow!
 * Wanda: Well a nice quiet dinner with my man does sound kind of nice.
 * Cosmo: Man? What man? Does your man know how to use toilet paper like me? [hits himself in the face with the toilet paper again] Ow ow ow!


 * "Poof, daddy's home, and I brought some leftovers!" [hits self with it] ow ow ow!


 * (Floating With You)
 * Cosmo: I saw her and no other.
 * I still lived with my mother
 * When I spotted her swirly pink hair
 * Though my shoes smell like tar pits
 * And I don't wash my armpits
 * I like monkeys too much,
 * But I know she doesn't care.
 * And I know that I'm forgetful.
 * I know I'm dim.
 * And even though I've just eaten.
 * I know I'll swim.
 * I know that it doesn't matter,
 * If I can't count to two.
 * As long as I'm floating With you.


 * "No way, man! I'm swimming in a real toilet and I like it!"
 * Cosmo and Wanda: Yay toilets!


 * "You bet. I'm swimming in my own toilet, [farts] and I like it!"


 * Cosmo: Psst. Timmy.
 * Timmy: What is it?
 * Wanda: We got good news and bad news.
 * Timmy: What's the good news?
 * Cosmo: The alien we got is actually a prince from the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
 * Wanda: And his parents are on their way to destroy the earth and rescue their son.
 * Timmy: What's the bad news?
 * Wanda: Oh wait, that was the bad news.
 * Timmy: Then what's the good news?
 * Cosmo: I found a nickel.


 * Cosmo: The good news is I named my nickel Philip.
 * King Grippulor: What's the bad news?
 * Cosmo: It's a girl nickel.


 * Wanda: [hosting a quiz show] What flammable--
 * Cosmo: [presses buzzer] Pudding!


 * "Ooo, look at his face, look at his face! He's got that I'm-going-to-make-a-really-freaky-wish look!"


 * "Hey, Timmy's a good kisser! G-o-o-o-o, Timmy!"


 * Wanda: Hey, Cosmo?
 * Cosmo: Yes, my love?
 * Wanda: Do you ever feel like your life is already planned out? Like, someone else is in control of your destiny?
 * Cosmo: I always thought YOU were in control of my destiny!


 * "Hey, you're right, lollypop! I told you I'd love you until the end of time, and I still do!"


 * "Meat!? Why did it have to be meat?"


 * Timmy: Do you have to go [to Hawaii for your second honeymoon]?
 * Wanda: Yes, sweetie. After all, it has been 9,895 years since Cosmo and I tied the knot.
 * Cosmo: Feels just like 4,489 years ago.


 * "I may not have your muscles, hairstyle, good looks, or singing voice, but Wanda loves me anyway!"


 * "Dear diary, I fear the hunt!"


 * "Dah! Heights give me the queasies!"


 * Cosmo: Isn't that how we met, Wanda? I was about to jump into a vat of sharp spikes and asparagus rather than admit I lied to you?
 * Wanda: No, but ain't love grand?


 * "Hey, let's get something straight. I'm not bright, big words confuse me, I have an attention span of a rodent, but Wanda loves me anyway! She makes me happy, and that should be enough for you!"


 * Cosmo: Hey, you are pretty good at this.
 * Wanda: It's for two-year-olds!


 * "Are you gonna finish your wand?"


 * "Oooooo, I love scuba driving!"


 * "Yay, rabies!"


 * "Don't forget the rabies!"


 * Wanda: It could be worse, sweetie!
 * Cosmo: Yeah! At least your parents aren't going away for the weekend and leaving your evil babysitter Vicky in charge!
 * Vicky: Surprise, twerp! Your parents are going away for the weekend and left me in charge!
 * Wanda: You gotta stop saying things like that!
 * Cosmo: It is my gift; it is my curse!


 * "Can we skip to Juliet's funeral?"


 * Timmy: This is a piece of cake. All I do is to find shapes, and I found them immediately!
 * Cosmo: And that is a piece of cake! Oh wait, it's just a barber.


 * "Word!"


 * "What is this brain thingy?"


 * "What is this brain you speak of?"


 * "Well I'm a boob, and Wanda trapped me into marriage..."


 * Wanda: There are four basic elements: earth, air, fire, and--
 * Cosmo: JELLY BEANS!


 * Wanda: Don't we always have the best times?
 * Cosmo: I can't tell time!


 * "Good evening, everyone. We're your perfectly normal not-magic-fairy human waiters with unbelievably super-hairy legs and underarms!"


 * "This magnetic charm I have is really a curse!"


 * Wanda: Now Timmy, this is a lot more serious than one of your video games. We've lost our powers because of this Syndicate and we won't be able to do anything until they're stopped.
 * Cosmo: Yeah, Timmy! Right now, this wand is just a glorified backscratcher!


 * (Whispering)"Timmy go to the pear!!"


 * "To the right! To the left! Everything you own in a box to the left!


 * Wanda: Cosmo, we gotta stop her before she breaks up our family!
 * Cosmo: For once, I agree with your shrill, commanding and authoritative voice! [Wanda glares at him] I mean, I love you!


 * Cosmo: Hey Timmy, let's do something really, really fun!
 * Wanda: Yeah! Super fun!
 * Cosmo: Like shave Crocker, turn your dad into a woman, turn Wanda into a woman... [Wanda glares at him] I mean, you're the wind beneath my wings!


 * Timmy: What are you guys doing? And what have you done to yourselves?
 * Cosmo: We're waiters! 'Course, it's just a stepping stone on our path to becoming actors. STELLA!!


 * "Oh no! She played the smoothie card - Timmy's one weakness! Mine is lint."


 * "I hate change! That's why I only change my underwear every 3,000 years."


 * Tootie: What is this place?
 * Cosmo: A prison of unspeakable horror!


 * Cosmo: Don't forget to feed the dog!
 * Wanda: Cosmo, he doesn't have a dog!
 * Cosmo: Well, if you get one, don't forget to feeeeeeeed it!


 * "He is soooo smooth."


 * Wanda: Timmy! We've missed you!
 * Cosmo: Yeah, without you around, all we do is sit around and talk about our feelings...
 * Wanda: [glaring at him] Hmm?
 * Cosmo: Not that there's anything wrong with that! [hugs Wanda] I love you!


 * Wanda: Isn't this great, Cosmo? After all these years, they finally ended up together!
 * Cosmo: I give 'em two weeks, tops!


 * Tootie: Well, awesome! So that means we could bring water to the Sahara and close the hole in the o-zone layer and help helpless creatures?
 * Cosmo: Not only that, we've got cup holders, baby!
 * Tootie: Fancy!


 * [While in Jorgen's grip] And right now,he's doing the Von Strangling part!


 * Timmy: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
 * Cosmo: Hey, it's okay. You had a good life, right?
 * Timmy: I'm only 10!
 * Cosmo: I said good, not long.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Little Cosmo has left the building!