Too Many Timmys! (transcript)


 * Timmy: [breaking down his bedroom door] Yippee! It's the weekend! No school! No chores! [dashes for the closet nearby and comes out with lots of outdoor playthings] Hey Mom! Dad! You guys ready to have some fun?
 * Mr. Turner: We sure are, son. Remember, today's the day of the big... Plunger Festival!
 * Timmy: Mom, Dad, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather stay here and retain my dignity.
 * Mr. Turner: Hmm, dignity. I have no idea what that means. Oh well, you'll still need a babysitter. [dials on his cordless phone]
 * Vicky: [on Mr. Turner's phone] Hello?
 * Mr. Turner: Vicky, could you babysit?
 * Vicky: [suddenly appears in the doorway] Hello?
 * Mr. Turner: Oh, hello, Vicky. Thanks for coming over so quickly.
 * Vicky: No trouble at all! I just adore Timmy. And since it's Saturday, I know you'll be more than happy to pay me my triple Saturday rates! The extra money will help me heal from my injury.
 * Timmy: What injury?
 * Vicky: Oh, I, uh, hurt my back yesterday rescuing that group of, uh, schoolkids from that burning bus. But don't worry! I'll be - ahh! - okay.
 * Mrs. Turner: Well, if you're not feeling well, I'm sure Timmy will be happy to take care of you. Won't you, Timmy?
 * Mr. and Mrs. Turner: Bye kids! Have fun!
 * Timmy: Wait! Wait! I can't take care of-- AHHH! [sees Vicky as a demon and shakes his head]
 * Vicky: Don't be nervous, Timmy. I won't require much care.
 * [Later, Vicky is relaxing on the couch while being cooled by two fans.]
 * Vicky: Ah. Oh, Timmy? [Timmy comes in carrying a fruit basket] Ah, excellent! All this eating will speed my healing! Ha!
 * Timmy: Anything else?
 * Vicky: Yes - I crave amusement! [sticks a jester hat on his head]
 * Timmy: [hops about] Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk. Okay, I've had it!
 * Vicky: Oh, poor little runt. I hope I'm not overworking him. Oh wait - yes I do! [cackles]
 * [Up in Timmy's room, Cosmo and Wanda, in their goldfish forms, are playing Go Fish.]
 * Wanda: Hmm, let's see here. Cosmo, do you have threes?
 * Cosmo: No, Wanda. Go... me! [they giggle]
 * [Timmy comes in sulkingly and sits on his bed. Cosmo and Wanda poof to their normal forms.]
 * Wanda: [looking at Timmy's jester hat] Ew, what's with the headgear, Timmy?
 * Cosmo: Yuck. Did you lose a bet?
 * Timmy: No, Mom and Dad told me to take care of Vicky. Now she's got me waiting on her hand and foot! But I'm just one kid; I can't do it all! Hey, that's it! I'll be more than one kid! OK, you guys, I wish there were more of me!
 * Wanda: No problemo! How many would you like?
 * Timmy: A ton!
 * Cosmo: [checks Da Rules] The rulebook says a ton is 2000 pounds!
 * Wanda: [poofs in a typewriter] How much do you weigh?
 * Timmy: 45 pounds, all muscle!
 * Wanda: Hmm, 45 divided into 2000, carry the 4...
 * Cosmo: [reads the typewriter paper] ...gives us a grand total of 44 1/2 Timmys!
 * [Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and make the Timmy clones appear]
 * Timmy: All right, men, your mission is to clean up this house and take care of the dragon-lady. Any questions? [he notices the half-sized clone, who strikes a pose] CHARGE!
 * Timmy clones: [marching out the door] Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
 * Half-sized Timmy clone: [following them] Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
 * [Back in the living room, Vicky is still relaxing on the couch.]
 * Vicky: Oh Timmy, there's a filthy stack of disgusting dishes here that need washing!
 * Timmy clone 1: Coming, oh ruler of the universe!
 * Vicky: Danke. And bring me some ice cream; I feel faint. [suddenly gets splashed] What the--? [sees another Timmy clone watering the lawn outside and approaches him] Hey, shrimp! I told ya I wanted ice cream!
 * Timmy clone 2: Okay, okay, I'm goin'! [leaves]
 * Timmy clone 1: [taps Vicky's shoulder from behind] Here's your ice cream, Icky-- uh, Vicky.
 * Vicky: B-but, how did you-- Never mind! Just finish the laundry!
 * Timmy clone 2: [comes behind Vicky with another bowl of ice cream] Here, happy now?
 * Vicky: Ahhh! But you just left! You can't be here!
 * Timmy clone 2: Well, I'm obviously here! Looks like you're a lot sicker than you thought. You'd better lie down.
 * Vicky: Yeah, sick, lie down. [goes back inside and gasps when she sees another Timmy clone vaccumming] All right, that's it! [takes him to his room] I don't find this very amusing, Timmy! [passes by another clone] Hi, Timmy. Aaaaah! [does a double-take and then tosses the clone in Timmy's room]
 * Timmy: Uh-oh. This is not good!
 * Cosmo: If Vicky figures out there's more than one of you...
 * Wanda: ...then she'll find out about us, and if that happens...
 * Both: ...we'll have to go away forever!
 * Timmy: Wait, I'll just wish them all away.
 * Wanda: Uh, there's, uh, kind of a problem.
 * Cosmo: [checks Da Rules] It says here, in order to undo a copy spell, all the copies must be in the same room at the same time!
 * Wanda: We'll just have to round them up before Vicky finds out!
 * [Cosmo and Wanda turn into cowboys]
 * Both: Giddyup, partner! [they giggle]
 * [Four of the Timmy clones are sweeping the floor and suddenly get snagged in a rug trap.]
 * Timmy: [speaking through a walkie-talkie] This is T-1. Four down, acknowledged!
 * Wanda: Roger that, T-1!
 * [In the bedroom, Vicky comes out of the bathroom with an ice pack on her head.]
 * Vicky: I'll just lie down in Ms. Turner's bed. Ugh, so ill...
 * Timmy clone: Hey, Sicky!
 * [Vicky sees four of the clones dressed as a barbershop quartet]
 * Timmy clones: Sweet Adeline!
 * [Vicky screams and dashes into the closet. The clones laugh and are suddenly grabbed by Cosmo, as a helicopter.]
 * Cosmo: Cosmo, party of four! [laughs] I'm killin' me!
 * [Wanda is a steamroller driven by Timmy.]
 * Timmy: Roger that! Last load comin' up!
 * [Wanda scoops up a whole bunch of the clones and drops them into Cosmo. Cosmo opens up the Turners' roof and drops the clones into Timmy's room. The Cosmas and the real Timmy then return into Timmy's room and look at all the clones.]
 * Wanda: All present and accounted for?
 * Cosmo: Do your stuff, amigo!
 * Timmy: I wish the clones were gone!
 * Timmy clones: Hey, wait a minute! [they all disappear]
 * [Meanwhile, in the Turners' closet, Vicky is in a fetal position.]
 * Vicky: There is only one Timmy. Only one Timmy. Only one Timmy. [Timmy opens the door] Aaaaah!
 * Timmy: Vicky! There you are! You feel asleep, started sleepwalking, and ended up here in the closet.
 * Vicky: Sleepwalking?
 * Timmy: Yeah. Funniest thing - you were muttering something about copies. Ha!
 * Vicky: Uh, yeah, copies. Well, you're still only one kid, and you've still got a lot of work to do, Pee-wee!
 * Timmy: Okay. [hops in front of a bunch of mirrors so that there appear to be six of him] Where should I start?
 * Vicky: Aaaaahhhh! [faints]
 * Wanda: Hmmm, mirrors?
 * Cosmo: Primitive, but effective.
 * Wanda: [pointing to Timmy] You're a whole lot of man, mister! [all three of them giggle]
 * Cosmo: You meant me, right?