Playdate of Doom (transcript)

00:00:30 time to deal with the most dangerous, evil, and vile prisoner here at abracatraz. 00:00:40	- Hello, claus. 00:00:42	I mean, jorgen. 00:00:44	That better not be more strained beets. 00:00:46	I asked for the pureed surf and turf. 00:00:48	- You will eat the beets and like them! 00:00:51	- Yes, jorgen. 00:00:52	I will eat the beets and like them. 00:00:54	See how agreeable I am? 00:00:55	Why don't you call wanda and cosmo to schedule a playdate with my nemesis-- dah, I mean, that delightful rapscallion poof. 00:01:03	I think I'm completely rehabilitated. 00:01:05	[laughs] bang! 00:01:07	- Ha! you, foop? 00:01:09	Completely rehabilitated and ready for a playdate with poof? 00:01:13	Fat chance. 00:01:14	Cosmo, wanda, and I will never allow you near poof again. 00:01:18	Now, here's that huge block of ice you asked for for no apparent reason. 00:01:22	.. 00:01:24	Who are you, again? 00:01:25	Just to be clear. 00:01:26	- I am jorgen von strangle. 00:01:29	Don't be a dummy. 00:01:32	- No, jorgen, it is you who are the dummy. 00:01:36	You've played right into my hand, .. 00:01:41	Dipey? 00:01:42	Smuggling in baby's first evil recorder was a genius idea. 00:01:45	I'm so amazing, sometimes I scare myself. 00:01:48	Oh! there I am! 00:01:50	Now, to edit this on baby's first evil laptop and use jorgen's own words against him. 00:01:58	[warped high-pitch speech] [electronic beep] [phone ringing] - Hello? 00:02:06	- [Jorgen's voice] COSMO AND WANDA, I am jorgen von strangle! 00:02:12	Foop is completely rehabilitated and ready for a playdate with poof. 00:02:18	- Really, jorgen? 00:02:19	Do you think that's a good idea? 00:02:21	- Don't be a dummy! 00:02:22	- Hey, there's no reason to take that tone with-- - you will eat the beets and like them! 00:02:27	- What? 00:02:28	[rapid clicking] - The fool. 00:02:31	She suspects nothing. 00:02:32	That was so easy, it was like taking candy from myself. 00:02:36	[laughs maniacally] - Toot-toot! 00:02:41	Here comes the veggie train. 00:02:45	- Arugh! 00:02:46	- That was jorgen. 00:02:47	He said we have to eat beets and have foop over for a playdate. 00:02:56	[together] WHAT? 00:02:57	- We have to eat beets? 00:02:59	No! 00:03:00	- Foop, the evil anti-fairy who tried to destroy two magical realms and a fast food chain, is coming to play? 00:03:07	- Poof-poof! - poof's right. 00:03:08	This is a bad idea. 00:03:10	- You said it, timmy. 00:03:11	Beets are the tubers of evil. 00:03:13	- Well, jorgen did say foop's rehabilitated. 00:03:17	And every baby deserves a second chance. 00:03:20	- They can't all be as good as you, poof. 00:03:22	Look, you ate all your vegetables. 00:03:24	That means you get another gold star on your good baby chart. 00:03:33	- Dah! beets! 00:03:34	Curse you, tubers of evil! 00:03:38	- There, it's square like me and cold like my heart. 00:03:42	Jorgen will never even know I'm gone. 00:03:45	Foop, you're such a genius. 00:03:47	I am, aren't i? 00:03:48	Yes, quite. 00:03:49	Perhaps I've been in here alone too long. 00:03:51	Thank goodness for diapers with hidden compartments. 00:03:54	They may not stop leaks, but they made my escape so easy, as will this! 00:04:00	Baby's first evil tunneling tool! 00:04:03	[laughing maniacally] [thunderous rumbling] [laughing crazily] [drill noise] Time for a playdate with poof, .. 00:04:16	Of doom! 00:04:18	[laughs maniacally] [cracking thunder] úeUCK-KUCK-UCK. 00:04:22	Hiccups. hick-hick-hick-uh! 00:04:25	[laughs] - Great job. 00:04:32	- Guys. 00:04:33	- I wasn't pouring my beets into a plant. 00:04:35	poof! 00:04:36	- What if jorgen's wrong and foop hasn't changed? 00:04:38	What if he's coming to destroy poof again? 00:04:41	- Now, timmy, you have to trust jorgen. 00:04:43	He's on top of everything. 00:04:45	- [snoring] [loud beep] [metal clank] [together] WE'RE FREE! 00:04:51	[all cheering] - Yeah, just in case, I wish for a super cool disguise so I can spy on foop when he gets here. 00:04:59	- You got it. 00:05:01	- A cleaning lady? 00:05:02	I was thinking ninja. 00:05:04	- That's funny; so was i. 00:05:05	We'll call you mrs. sparklebottom. 00:05:07	[knocking] - OH, TIMMY? 00:05:09	poof! 00:05:09	Ooh, an ugly little cleaning lady. 00:05:12	I bet timmy's dad hired you so I could go to the spa. 00:05:16	You can go up in the attic and deal with that vicious hornets' nest. 00:05:20	- What? wait! 00:05:23	Dah! 00:05:24	[doorbell dings] - Hello, auntie wanda and uncle idiot. 00:05:30	I mean, cosmo. 00:05:31	Thank you so much for allowing me to visit. 00:05:34	- Aw, thank you, foop. 00:05:36	We hope you're ready to be a good boy for a change. 00:05:39	- Oh, I most certainly am, auntie wanda. 00:05:42	And this is for you, uncle. 00:05:45	- Beets? 00:05:46	Why does everyone hate me? 00:05:47	- And I even brought a gift for my new friend poof. 00:05:52	- [growls] - It's a special new portal to oblivion. 00:05:55	I mean, playpen! 00:05:56	- That's very kind of you, foop. 00:05:58	You boys can play in it and-- - no! 00:06:01	Don't put me in there! 00:06:04	[ominous music] I MEAN-- [clears throat] I mean, I've been in solitary confinement for so long. 00:06:10	Heh-heh, yes. 00:06:11	Closed spaces make me crazy. 00:06:12	No, they don't! yes, they do! 00:06:14	Oh, be quiet! 00:06:16	- Ohh-kay. 00:06:17	Uh, poof, why don't you give foop a hug, sweetie? 00:06:22	- Poof-poof! 00:06:22	- Oh, I'm afraid he just doesn't like me, auntie. 00:06:26	Weep-weep, crying sounds, weep-weep. 00:06:29	- Poof, foop is trying to be nice. 00:06:31	You have to learn how to forgive people after they try and destroy you. 00:06:35	For making foop cry, you lose a star on your good boy chart. 00:06:40	poof! 00:06:41	- Egh. 00:06:43	[creepy organ music] [whimpering] - You're going down, you bulbous little brat. 00:06:50	- Aha! 00:06:51	I heard that with my hornet-stung, super swollen ear. 00:06:55	Foop is-- ah! 00:06:56	More hornets! 00:06:58	Ahhh! 00:07:01	- What an odd, ugly cleaning lady. 00:07:03	- I'm a ninja! 00:07:04	- You boys play while I give cosmo his lunch. 00:07:09	Here's your lunch, cosmo. 00:07:11	- Ah, you got to be kidding me. 00:07:14	- ♪♪ La da-da-ta ♪♪ 00:07:15	poof, I fear I might have been vague earlier when I said you're going down. 00:07:20	Allow me to clarify. 00:07:22	[ominous music] [zapping noise] The playpen contains an interdimensional vortex that will transport you to the outer reaches of the universe, forever! 00:07:36	Muwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 00:07:38	Huck-hick-huck. 00:07:39	Hiccups. hick-hick-hick. 00:07:41	- Aha! 00:07:42	I heard that. 00:07:44	Wanda, listen to this. 00:07:45	Foop was planning to-- - oh, timmy? 00:07:48	Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo, a ninja, great! 00:07:51	I need you to make a man named dinkleberg " - yah! 00:07:57	- Poof-poof-poof! 00:07:58	- Don't be silly, poof. 00:07:59	Foop's not going to send you to an alternate universe. 00:08:03	Now, be good and have fun. 00:08:05	- Yes, poof. 00:08:06	Let's have fun. 00:08:08	ding! 00:08:10	[swoopy chimes] [wet splat noise] Weep, weep. 00:08:14	Cry! 00:08:15	Sob. 00:08:16	- Oh, what happened? 00:08:18	- Poof tried to harm me with beets. 00:08:22	- I told you beets were dangerous. 00:08:24	- Poof, that was not nice. 00:08:26	You lose another star. 00:08:28	poof! 00:08:30	- Yes, you're going in that playpen. 00:08:33	Your idiot parents are going to send you to another dimension, and I'm going to watch. 00:08:38	Ready, friend? 00:08:40	Let's play! 00:08:49	[crying] [buzzing noise] [splat] [crying] - [whistling] [loud zapping] - Ugh! agh! 00:09:05	Ooh! 00:09:09	- [whistling a tune] [loud zapping] - [wailing] poof! 00:09:17	[wailing] poof! 00:09:19	[wailing] poof! 00:09:23	This I my favorite toy. 00:09:24	Mine too. I don't even know you anymore! 00:09:27	We think you'll find it's a real blast. 00:09:31	[jangly happy music] blast! 00:09:36	Weep-weep. 00:09:37	More convincing crying. 00:09:39	- Poof, that's it. 00:09:40	I'm taking away your last gold star. 00:09:42	- Yeah, you get a time-out in the wonderful playpen that makes beets disappear. 00:09:47	[cracking thunder] - Dah! 00:09:50	[suspenseful music] Poof-poof-poof-poof poof-poof-poof-poof-poof! 00:09:54	- Nonsense, poof. 00:09:55	The playpen is not and interdimensional vortex of doom. 00:09:59	- Wanda, stop! 00:10:01	Stop, foop. 00:10:03	I know what you're up to. 00:10:04	- Boy, you are one annoying cleaning lady. 00:10:08	blast! 00:10:09	- [wailing] - Ugh! 00:10:12	- Eeh-eh-eh-eeh-eh-eh! 00:10:13	Eh! ugh! 00:10:15	- Oh, no. 00:10:15	The playpen really is a vortex of doom. 00:10:18	Poof was telling the truth. 00:10:20	- Good-bye, poof. 00:10:22	[laughs maniacally] .. 00:10:26	I'm a ninja! 00:10:28	Yah! 00:10:29	- Oh! 00:10:31	Wah! 00:10:31	[zapping noise] [wailing] This is all your fault. 00:10:38	Really? I blame you. 00:10:39	Well, you would. 00:10:40	That's so like you. 00:10:41	I'll get you, poof! 00:10:43	Eventually! 00:10:47	- Poof, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. 00:10:50	Can you forgive me? 00:10:52	- Poof-poof. 00:10:53	- All in a day's work for timmy sparklebottom, cleaning ninja. 00:10:58	.. 00:11:00	- No more beets? 00:11:01	- And we don't have to worry about foop anymore. 00:11:05	- You haven't seen the last of me, poof. 00:11:07	Or me either. 00:11:08	I know that; I'm right here. 00:11:09	I was talking to them. 00:11:10	Oh, pipe down! 00:11:11	You're the one who got us into this in the first place. 00:11:14	We'll be back. 00:11:15	Stop looking at me! 00:11:17	I hate beets! 00:11:19	So do i!