The Boss Of Me (transcript)

00:00:13	[all snoring] - Awesome news, guys. 00:00:16	Today's "bring your kid to work day" at my dad's office. 00:00:20	- But, timmy, you don't have a kid. 00:00:22	- Anyway, I get to see my dad's totally cool job, and better yet, I get to miss a day of school. 00:00:29	- That's great, sport. 00:00:30	Now, what does your dad do again? 00:00:31	- I'm not sure, but I'll let you know at the end of the day. 00:00:35	Time to dress for success. 00:00:42	I bet my dad can't wait to take me to work today. 00:00:46	Ugh! huh? 00:00:49	- Hi, timmy. 00:00:50	Meet the kid I can't wait to take to work today instead of you. 00:00:53	He's a rental. 00:00:56	- You rented a kid? 00:00:57	- Timmy, timmy, timmy, work is a very competitive environment. 00:01:01	I've got to put my best foot forward, not some smelly foot with embarrassingly large teeth. 00:01:08	- Ugh, dad, you've gotta take me. 00:01:10	I don't want to go to school. 00:01:11	I mean, I've always wanted to learn ..whatever it is you do. 00:01:17	Agh! 00:01:18	[phone rings] - It's my manager. 00:01:21	He said your check bounced. 00:01:22	I'm outta here, moron. 00:01:24	- Good news, timmy. 00:01:25	You can come. 00:01:26	- Awesome! 00:01:28	[upbeat jazzy music] ♪♪ ♪♪ 00:01:33	- welcome to pencil nexus, timmy. 00:01:35	- Wow. 00:01:40	" [toilet flushing] Pencils, that is. 00:01:45	Let's take a ride down the graphite river. 00:01:49	[together] ♪♪ WELCOME ALL TO PENCIL NEXUS ♪♪ 00:01:52	♪♪ it's our love of pencils that connects us ♪♪ 00:01:55	♪♪ we also have a branch in texas ♪♪ 00:01:58	- ♪♪ if you've got questions ♪♪ 00:01:59	[together] ♪♪ YOU CAN TEXT US ♪♪ 00:02:01	- Here at pencil nexus, our ultimate goal is to find a pencil that lasts forever. 00:02:09	- Hey this is kind of nice. 00:02:12	Aaaaagh-ah-ah-augggh. 00:02:15	I'll never be the same. 00:02:18	- Can you imagine it, timmy, creating a pencil that would never wear out? 00:02:21	Whoever did that would be a hero. 00:02:23	They'd have their picture on the wall of fame. 00:02:25	Ohh, look. 00:02:26	It's my boss, mr. ed leadly. 00:02:30	I'm his favorite employee. 00:02:31	- Palmer, you're on thin ice. 00:02:33	- It's turner, sir, and this is my son, timmy. 00:02:37	- Nice to meet you, little girl. 00:02:38	Have a pencil pop. 00:02:40	And, as for you, tanenbaum, you'd better start performing. 00:02:43	Take a look at your productivity report. 00:02:46	- Eh, there's nothing in there. 00:02:48	- Bingo! 00:02:49	So step it up, or you're gone. 00:02:51	- Yes, sir. 00:02:54	Can va penc pop too? 00:02:55	- No! - deh! 00:02:58	Timmy, I've gotta think fast. 00:03:00	 ed leadly's going to fire me if I don't come up with an earth-shattering pencil-based idea. 00:03:08	- Uh, what have you come up with so far? 00:03:10	- Well, there's my pogo pencil. 00:03:14	Agh! 00:03:15	Sadly, it's only good for making periods. 00:03:17	But I do have this: my invisible pencil. 00:03:21	..i dropped it! 00:03:23	It's gone, just like my career. 00:03:26	[sobbing hysterically] Timmy, what am I going to do? 00:03:31	Pencils are my life. 00:03:34	If you need me, I'll be curled up on the men's room floor crying like a little jobless baby who lost his invisible pencil. 00:03:41	[women screaming] - [sobbing hysterically] - Ha, you don't scare me, mr. pencil sharpener. 00:03:51	Now that I'm a fairy again, I'm indestructible. 00:03:55	Agh! ahhh! 00:03:57	- Hey, that gives me an idea. 00:03:59	I wish for a perfect, indestructible pencil that would last forever. 00:04:06	[trumpet fanfare] [ethereal choral music] Now all I have to do is give my dad the credit for inventing this, and he'll get to keep his job. 00:04:16	- Timmy, I heard a choir of angels. 00:04:19	Did something good happen? 00:04:21	- It sure did, dad. 00:04:22	While you were gone, I invented this: A pencil that lasts forever. 00:04:27	- Oh, you did? 00:04:31	It'll wear down. 00:04:32	Whoo. 00:04:33	Eventually they all do. 00:04:45	I don't believe my eyes. 00:04:47	This pencil hasn't worn down at all. 00:04:50	It's indestructible. 00:04:51	I'm going to call it the everleady! 00:04:54	- Why don't you show it to your boss? 00:04:56	- Great idea. 00:04:57	Once he sees this perfect pencil, he'll promote me to the head office in pencilvania. 00:05:01	- Uh, first you may want to put on some pants. 00:05:07	[elevator bell dings] - What is it, tacamodo? 00:05:10	.. I mean, your majesty... 00:05:13	I mean, your bossiness. 00:05:15	..this. 00:05:17	[ethereal choral music] - It's a pencil that never wears down. 00:05:21	- I call it the everleady. 00:05:22	- Why, if you're right, pencil nexus would become the most successful pencil company in history. 00:05:27	I have to see this to believe it. 00:05:38	It works. 00:05:38	How on earth did you come up with this? 00:05:41	- Well, actually, my son invented it whias weeping on the bathroom floor, but I named it. 00:05:46	The naming part was mine. 00:05:47	- Turner, you're hired. 00:05:49	- I am? 00:05:50	But I have school tomorrow. 00:05:51	I mean, when do I start? 00:05:53	[upbeat jazzy music] ♪♪ ♪♪ 00:06:09	- this is chet ubetcha reporting. 00:06:10	Customers are lined up around the block to get their hands on the greatest pencil phenomenon ever: The everleady. 00:06:17	Auuugh! 00:06:19	And since everleadys last forever, people only need one, which means there's no need to chop down trees to make pencils. 00:06:28	In related news, a dense forest has quickly sprung up in dimmsdale. 00:06:32	In unrelated news, I'm being mauled by a raccoon. 00:06:35	Auuugh! 00:06:38	- Congratulations, turner. 00:06:40	Your picture's on the wall of fame. 00:06:43	[tires squealing] - Wait for me! 00:06:47	Ugh! 00:06:50	- Welcome to your new office, turner. 00:06:54	- Wow. 00:06:56	- As we say in the pencil business, heh, you're my number two. 00:07:00	[toilet flushing] - Can we call me something else? 00:07:05	- You're vice president. 00:07:06	You know what that means? 00:07:07	- I get to totally goof around all day and use the company jet to go to the mall? 00:07:11	- No, that's my job. 00:07:14	.. 00:07:16	Starting with timberlake. 00:07:18	- But that's my dad, and his name is turner. 00:07:21	- Fine, turner, fire turner. 00:07:23	- Sport, you're not really going to fire your dad, are you? 00:07:28	You know how much he loves his job. 00:07:30	- You heard mr. leadly. 00:07:32	I don't have a choice. 00:07:33	Dad, can you step into my office? 00:07:35	- Timmy, you can't toss your dad out on the streets. 00:07:39	They're crawling with bears. 00:07:41	[bears growling] [elevator bell dings] .. 00:07:46	I mean, mr. son? 00:07:47	- That's right, timberlake-- I mean, dad. 00:07:50	I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go. 00:07:52	- Eh, go where, to pencilvania? 00:07:55	Yes, a promotion! 00:07:57	.. 00:07:59	- All my dreams are finally coming true. 00:08:03	- No, dad. 00:08:03	- That's right, honey, order the yacht. 00:08:06	- Dad, no, you're not getting a promotion. 00:08:09	You're being fired! 00:08:10	- Ohhhh, well, okay, I guess. 00:08:14	Heh-heh, don't worry, I'll be fine. 00:08:16	See you at home, dream-crusher-- I mean, timmy. 00:08:20	Heh-heh, hee-hee-hee. 00:08:21	[sobbing hysterically] I'm a little jobless baby. 00:08:25	I lost my invisible pencil. 00:08:29	- That was terrible. 00:08:30	I hope I never have to fire anyone again. 00:08:32	- Turner, you've gotta fire everyone. 00:08:34	Because of the everleady, people only need one pencil for their whole lives, so sales have plummeted. 00:08:39	We're closing down production. 00:08:41	[all sobbing] We're all little jobless babies. 00:08:46	[all sobbing] all: WE HATE TIMMY. 00:08:50	- I've gotta fix this somehow. 00:08:52	I wish all the everleady pencils were destroyed. 00:08:55	- We can't destroy them, sport. 00:08:56	.. 00:08:59	- And awesome too. 00:09:01	Because they last forever, .. 00:09:04	Until it gives you great big muscles. 00:09:09	- Wait a minute. 00:09:10	What if it really did happen? 00:09:12	[whispering] - Eep! 00:09:21	Aaahhhhh! 00:09:24	- Hey. 00:09:27	all: YAAAH! 00:09:29	- Turner, we've got trouble. 00:09:30	All the people who bought your stupid pencils are writing upawsuits and death threats against me. 00:09:35	Ordinarily I'd ignore them, but they're pounding down the doors with their giant misshapen arms and writing some very nasty things on the company walls. 00:09:42	In order to stave off a lawsuit, I've agreed to replace everyone's everleadys with regular old number two pencils, so we've got to ramp up production and fast. 00:09:51	Hire everybody back, including your idiot father, tarentino. 00:09:57	[upbeat jazzy music] ♪♪ ♪♪ 00:10:18	[knock at door] - Mm? 00:10:20	- You wanted to see me, dad? 00:10:22	- Eh, that's right, turner. 00:10:23	 ed leadly his entire company, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. 00:10:31	- Go where, pencilvania? 00:10:33	- Heh-heh, no, the unemployment line, because you are fired. 00:10:38	..are... f-f-f-fired. 00:10:41	- That's right, honey, I'm sending him home right now. 00:10:44	Help yourself to a pencil pop on the way out. 00:10:47	- Thanks, dad. 00:10:47	Oh, by the way, I found your invisible pencil. 00:10:50	- Yippee! 00:10:51	This pencil's my ticket to the wall of fame. 00:10:55	- Thanks, guys. 00:10:56	My dad got his job back, and everything's normal again. 00:10:59	- Ah, I dropped it again. 00:11:01	Curse you, invisible pencil! 00:11:03	- Well, almost everything. 00:11:06	- Pencils
 * Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: [snoring] - Yieeee!