Transcript:The Fairly OddParents! (episode)

[''Turner household. Night.'']

Mr. Turner: Thanks for babysitting tonight, Vicky. Timmy just loves making new friends, don't you Timmy?

Vicky: No problem, Mr. Turner! I just love Timmy. [grabs Timmy] We're gonna be best pals, right, Timmy?

Timmy: Oxygen...darkness...

Vicky: Have fun at the movies! [her loving smile changes to a nasty-looking scowl as she shuts the door] All right, squirt, three things: 1) Stay out of my way. 2) Go to bed early. 3) Do the dishes.

Timmy: Mom told you to do 'em!

Vicky: Oh yeah... well, you wouldn't want her to find this magazine, would you? [holds up a magazine titled "Chix"]

Timmy: That's not mine! Mom will never believe you.

Vicky: Ha! Oh, I wouldn't say that; it works great at my house! Just ask my little brother. [dials on the phone and a child screaming is heard on the receiver]

Timmy: OK, OK, I'll do it!

Vicky: [sitting down to watch TV] Excellent! And as your reward, how about I order pizza for us?

Timmy: OK, but no anchovies!

[About 15 minutes later, he crawls out of the kitchen and comes upon Vicky with an empty pizza box.]

Timmy: Hey, you ate all the pizza!

Vicky: Relax, runt. I saved you a piece. [holds up one with anchovies]

Timmy: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

[''Later, Timmy lies on his bed. Vicky drenches a bucket of water on him.'']

Vicky: Good, you're awake. Wouldn't want you to miss your bedtime!

Timmy: But I'm not tired!

Vicky: Oh, we could watch your favorite television show - The World of Lip Gloss! It's on the Makeup Channel.

Timmy: That's your favorite show!

Vicky: Oh, so it is! [laughs evilly and leaves the room]

Timmy: Very funny! [slams door and gets out his Magic 9 Ball] Oh Magic 9 Ball, when will my parents get back from the movies? [reading answer] Titanic: Director's Cut?! They'll be there all night! Man, that's dumb!

''[He throws the Magic 9 Ball at the wall, causing it to break open. A magic aura forms from the ball, then swirls into thin air, bringing forth the entrance of Cosmo and Wanda.]''

Cosmo and Wanda: HEY TIMMY!

Cosmo: I'm Cosmo!

Wanda: I'm Wanda!

Both: And we're... YOUR FAIRY GODPARENTS!

Wanda: What do you think, Timmy?

Timmy: I think I'm calling the cops.

Wanda: Hold it, tiger! You can't tell anyone about us.

Cosmo: If you do, we'll just go away forever.

Timmy: Why?

Wanda: Well, that's what the rulebook says. [poofs up Da Rules and it lands on Timmy] Oops, sorry.

Cosmo: There's lots of rules, Timmy.

Timmy: Why are you here?

Cosmo: We're here to help you! We're magic! Ooh! Magic! Ooh!

Wanda: We grant wishes! [chuckles]

Vicky: [slams door open] What's going on in here?!

Timmy: Nothing.

Vicky: What's with the fish?

Timmy: Uh, those are my godfish-- goldfish!

Vicky: Fish are riddled with germs. I wouldn't want you getting sick. Maybe I should flush 'em!

Timmy: No!

Cosmo: Should we do something?

Wanda: Well, he's got to wish for it first!

Cosmo: Ooh, I hate that rule.

Wanda: I'm calling a union meeting.

Vicky: I want these disgusting creatures out of here or it's toilet time for the two of them! [exits]

Wanda: [sarcastically] Sweet girl.

Cosmo: I love her fangs.

Timmy: You grant wishes, huh?

Cosmo: Sure do!

Wanda: And we love clients with creative imaginations!

Timmy: Then I wish for one thing - gelatin.

[''Quick cut to Vicky relaxing in the bathtub. The water turns into gelatin, much to her horror.'']

Cosmo: You always were great with dessert! [he and Wanda giggle]

Timmy: Whipped cream! [the shower head squirts it on Vicky] Cherry! [a giant one lands on Vicky as she tries to sneak out of the tub] That's great! Can you make her into a giant chocolate shake?

Cosmo: Oooh, may I, Pookie?

Wanda: Of course, Stallion.

[Cosmo turns Vicky into a giant snake.]

Timmy: Aaaaahhhhh!

Wanda: He said "chocolate shake, not "chocolate snake!"

Cosmo: [Looking at his wand] I gotta get this thing fixed!

Wanda: Timmy, wish for something!

Timmy: I wish she was a fly! [C&W turn her into one and give Timmy a flyswatter] Thank you.

Vicky: Aaaaahhhhh! [flies away and backs onto the freezer door]

Timmy: Frostbite!

[C&W come out of the freezer as polar bears and scare Vicky.]

Cosmo: Anything else, Timmy?

Timmy: Here's a wish list.

C&W: Ooooooh.

Vicky: [now back to normal] You can't do this to me! I'm the babysitter!

Wanda: [sits on Vicky, as a giant baby] Goo goo!

Cosmo: [as Groucho Marx] That's the first time the baby ever sat on the sitter!

Vicky: Help!

Cosmo: Sorry! The secret word was pie! [throws a pie in Vicky's face]

[''Vicky screams and runs off, then stops and sees she's in a belly of a whale, actually a transformed Cosmo. She screams again and jumps out of him.'']

Cosmo: Sorry, is it my breath?

[''Vicky swims for her life and is suddenly turned into an astronaut. Cosmo and Wanda come zapping her in colored spaceships.'']

Wanda: [wearing a Darth Vader costume] The force is strong with this one!

Cosmo: [wearing the same] I am your father! I always wanted to say that.

[''Vicky jumps into a crater to avoid their fire. When she climbs out, it has turned into a circus cannon that fires her, tied up, onto some train tracks.'']

Timmy: [dressed like Snidely Whiplash] Well Vicky, any last words?

Cosmo: [as the train] Woo woo, baby, woo woo!

Timmy: Well?

Vicky: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Stop, I'll do anything! [scene fades as if it were a dream] Anything!

Mr. Turner: Vicky? Vicky? Looks like you were having a bad dream. Maybe too much pizza?

Mrs. Turner: Why don't we drive you home?

Vicky: Uh, sure.

Timmy: Oh, Vicky, remember you promised to hand-wash all my dirty laundry? After all, mom, she did such a great job on the dishes.

Mrs. Turner: Of course, dear.

Vicky: LAUNDRY?! Why you little, uh-- [notices C&W in fishbowl] Laundry! Sure, I'll do your laundry! I don't know what's going on here, but I'm gonna find out.

Timmy: See ya, Vicky! Hey mom, Vicky's the best friend ever! Can she babysit all the time?

Mrs. Turner: Of course, dear.

Cosmo: Looks like we'll be here a while!

Wanda: Well, at least we'll be clean! [they giggle and swim inside their castle]

THE END!