Crocker of Gold/Quotes


 * Dolores-Day Crocker: Oh Denzel, what's become of you?
 * Denzel Crocker: Isn't it obvious? I'm a hideous goo monster!
 * Dolores-Day Crocker: I'm talking about your life! You're nothing but a crackpot who wastes all his time chasing fairies! [then she takes a broom and smacks Crocker with it]


 * Crocker: My obsession with FAIRIES has yielded nothing but disaster. There's only one sane thing to do, find another crazy obsession! Let's go to the wheel of destiny! [he pulls a lever, making a wall flip and reveal the wheel] One spin away from a whole new life! [he spins the wheel which stops at 'women' ] Maybe I should go for something a little more realistic. Come on Unicorns!


 * Crocker: Ah, Little Ireland. Everything is so green here. Even the stoplights. [noise of car crashing]


 * Cosmo: ...then, the great potato looks in the mirror to see if he's the fairest potato of them all. If he's not, he gives the hotter-looking potato a poison apple!


 * Crocker: Eureka! I've captured a leprechaun! Wait, maybe I should say something more Irish. Shiver me timbers!


 * Wanda: Cosmo, fairies aren't allowed to poof up money! Where'd you get a pot of gold?
 * Cosmo: From some leprechauns, duh.
 * Wanda: Which ones? Some of them can be really dangerous.
 * Timmy: Come on, aren't they all just harmless little green twerps who sell soap on TV?


 * Lucky: Our gold's been stolen again, by a wee paid laddie named Cosmoooooo
 * Timmy: How do you know it was Cosmoooooo?
 * Greeny: He left a note. [holds up a note that says 'I tuk yer gold, Cosmoooooo]
 * Wanda: [to Cosmo] You left a note!?
 * Cosmo: It's called manners, Wanda. Look it up.


 * [after Lucky and Greeny take Wanda and Poof on their bikes]
 * Cosmo: Timmy, we gotta get Poof and Wanda back. She has to pay for lunch.
 * Timmy: Don't worry, Cosmo. We just have to get that gold from Mr. Crocker before he spends any of it.
 * [at the Big $tuff! store]
 * Crocker: I've spent all of it!


 * Timmy: All we need is three perfect tens and we'll win the gold medal.
 * Judge #1: Ten! [holds up a 10 card]
 * Judge #2: Ten! [also holds up a 10 card]
 * Crocker: F! [holds up an F card while Timmy and Cosmo glare at him] Sorry, force of habit.


 * [at an old gold mine]
 * Crocker: We'll just mine our own gold!
 * Cosmo: Okay, but be on the lookout for eight fairytale dwarves.
 * Timmy: I thought there were only seven.
 * Cosmo: No, everyone always forgets the eighth dwarf, Crazy.
 * [A group of dwarves that were being chased by Crazy run past them. Then they too begin to run while being followed by Crazy holding a chainsaw]
 * Crocker: Note to self: take dwarves off the wheel of destiny!


 * Crocker: Fairies! And just when I've given up chasing them! That's so not fair.
 * [later, when Crocker realizes Cosmo isn't a leprechaun]
 * Crocker: Wait a minute, even the stupid leprechaun is a FAIRY!? That's even more so not fair!


 * Timmy: Sorry about your gold.
 * Big Dave: It wasn't the gold we cared about, we just wanted the pot back.
 * Greeny: It's a McPunchie family heirloom.
 * Talking Car: I've still got the pot. It's in my trunk.
 * Crocker: Don't tell them that! I was going to use it as a planter.


 * Crocker: Well, the leprechaun was a total bust. So it's back to the wheel of destiny! [goes to spin the wheel, which stops at 'dwarves' ] Dwarves! No way, I'm not going back to Crazy!
 * Dolores-Day Crocker: You're already there, you numbskull!